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Unless you've been held captive by a Wampa, crash-landed a TIE Fighter on Jakku or were eaten by the Sarlacc - though Boba Fett did come back like a champ from that doomsday scenario - it's probably not news that "Revenge of the Sith" is celebrating its 20th anniversary.
In honor of Star Wars Day (May the 4th) - and the very special birthday - it's time to hit up Disney+ or bust out the Blu-rays to rewatch all 11 "Star Wars" films (the nine-chapter Skywalker Saga, plus a couple of spinoffs) in this galactic franchise. (Pro tip: If you're a total newbie, watch the original 1977 "Star Wars" first.)
But which "Star Wars" is the best of the best? These are the rankings you're looking for.
George Lucas' prequels get a bad rap and, well, they kind of deserve it at times. Especially this one. What basically is a two-hour trailer for the rest of Anakin Skywalker's story is kind of a mess - he was immaculately conceived? What's this about midichlorians and the Force? The pod-race set piece is fun the first five times yet gets old quick, Darth Maul is the coolest guy in the movie and he's in it for all of three minutes, trade negotiations are not the way to start a sci-fi movie, and as for Jar Jar Binks ... yeah. One thing it does do well is set up the political atmosphere that leads to the Empire and introduces Anakin as the chosen one who will bring balance to the Force. Just not in the way anybody expects.
There are so many sleek special effects used in this thing that you miss the trash heaps and spit-and-gum filmmaking of Lucas' original movies. Also, Hayden Christensen and Natalie Portman have ZERO chemistry as doomed lovers Anakin and Padmé. They have a picnic in the middle of the movie, battle monsters together on Geonosis and get married at the end, and yet even a modicum of actual romance isn't to be found. That all said, "Clones" isn't a bad film and it's pretty good whenever Ewan McGregor's Obi-Wan Kenobi is around. His and Anakin's chase after Zam Wesell is a scene from the great Jedi buddy-cop comedy we never got, and the discovery of the Republic's clone army on the rainy planet Kamino is obviously important. (Never forget, though: Stormtroopers > clone troopers.)
It's no coincidence that the prequel that's closest to the original trilogy in tone, story and theme is the best one. Anakin finally has his full turn to the dark side, though it still seems a little whiplash-y how quickly he goes from broody, anti-authoritarian kid to child-killing, baddest man in the galaxy. And Padmé dying from a broken heart is a little much. However, Yoda takes on Senator Palpatine/Darth Sidious/Emperor in a neato lightsaber battle, when Order 66 comes down it's a little heartbreaking, and Obi-Wan and Anakin's violent brawl on Mustafar is arguably the most hellacious in any "Star Wars" film. (Those who miss those two mortal enemies definitely want to watch their rematch in the Disney+ "Obi-Wan Kenobi" series.)
It could also be called "Star Wars: Attack of the Callbacks" since it bends over backward - and sacrifices a lot of good storytelling and fun new characters (we totally heart little Babu Frik) - to pay homage to familiar faces and aspects from previous films. Jedi-in-training Rey (Daisy Ridley), reluctant hero Finn (John Boyega) and X-wing warrior Poe Dameron (Oscar Isaac) lead the ragtag Resistance against a returning Emperor Palpatine (Ian McDiarmid) in a film that's full of logic fumbles and muddies the focus of the third and final trilogy.
The evolving relationship between Rey and the First Order's hotheaded Kylo Ren (Adam Driver) goes some interesting places, and director J.J. Abrams' "Skywalker" is one last tribute to General Leia Organa (the late Carrie Fisher) and the way certain returning characters have molded decades of this expansive story. Hardcore fans will find lots to love and it's plenty entertaining with bombastic spectacle, but "Rise" crashes and burns as an actual finale.
For its maiden standalone voyage, "Star Wars" brass blended the old - the Rebel Alliance freaking out about the construction of the Empire's mighty Death Star - with something new: In this case, a war movie digging into the battlefields on land and in space with insurgents rising up against "the Man."
The results are a mixed bag. Ex-con Jyn Erso (Felicity Jones) heads up the squad of armed misfits to steal the Death Star plans, though a snarky droid ends up being the best character in the bunch (for the record, K-2SO is way cooler than C-3PO). The Empire is full of bickering bureaucrats, which is fun to watch though bad for getting the Death Star done in a timely manner, and Darth Vader power walks into scenes that both undermine his icon status yet also cement it. While the fan service goes too far - for example, the old-school CGI character who is just as distracting as Jar Jar - "Rogue One" does introduce some neato supporting aliens like Admiral Raddus, a military mashup of Patton, Churchill and a lobster.
A young Han Solo movie doesn't sound like a great idea ... until you actually see a young Han Solo movie. Mostly free of lightsabers, Jedi and Rebels, "Solo" is a "Star Wars" take on an Indiana Jones jam, and the first movie to tackle the underworld through its most famous anti-hero. This Han (Alden Ehrenreich) is an idealistic sort willing to go to extreme and illegal lengths to see his girlfriend (Emilia Clarke) again. Han and Chewie (Joonas Suotamo) are awesome together, Han and Lando (Donald Glover) aren't bad either, it boasts a bunch of new creatures and crooks, and the film even ties into "Star Wars" past in surprising fashion.
A note for Ryan Gosling's upcoming "Star Wars: Starfighter": This, not "Rogue One," should be the template for future spinoffs.
For those who love spectacular space battles, the cute audacity of porgs and bad guys with British accents snarling, "Rebel scum," there's a lot to love in writer/director Rian Johnson's "Episode VIII." Fans have plenty to unpack in a lengthy runtime and "Last Jedi," like other franchise vehicles, demands repeat viewings, but Luke Skywalker (Mark Hamill) is the coolest he's been since "The Empire Strikes Back." Plus, the next-generation heroes of the Resistance take a great leap in being a real rebellion like we saw in the original trilogy.
Johnson is also winningly subversive, having Luke call out his own past and challenging the foundation that Lucas put in place 40 years ago - one character even says, "Good guys, bad guys. Made-up words." The galaxy is no longer a hotbed of chosen ones, a place where a nobody, a lowly First Order janitor or a Resistance mechanic, can save the universe - a switch from the days of Anakin and Luke. "Last Jedi" is unsurprisingly dedicated to "our princess" Carrie Fisher, and her integral role speaks volumes to the legacy of the core characters played by her, Hamill and Harrison Ford, yet also points out the need for fresh icons to take the franchise to new heights.
Let's just put this out there now: Ewoks aren't that bad. And the alien creature quotient is at an